Calm down, people. I’m the fat lady with a wheelchair.
I almost wrote that last statement as “I’m the fat lady IN the wheelchair”, but that instinctual wording of mine is part of the reason for this blog. I’m glad I made that mistake, because it just goes to show how society today influences our thoughts and actions. Perhaps it just seems to be semantics, but the distinction is important to note for two different reasons. (Besides the fact that I just gave myself even more material for this particular blog!)
The truth is, I’m not always in the wheelchair or walker. There is this misconception among those with no real exposure personally to the physically disabled that we are either bound to our wheelchair or faking it. In reality, wheelchair users are not wheelchair bound. Many wheelchair users have some degree of mobility, but it’s not enough to keep them on their feet for various amounts of times. So no, it’s not a miracle when the person at Wal-Marts stands up off the electric scooter to get an item off a high shelf. All it means is a slightly higher amount of mobility. That may be the only mobility they have, or they may be able to walk short distances. You don’t know, so don’t be a jerk about it. Occasionally, it’s not worth it to drag out the wheelchair or the walker. If you see me in a restaurant, I almost never have a mobility device with me. That’s because I can walk quite well for my disabilities. In addition, many restaurants try to move your walker out of the way to a back room. I won’t let them. I’ve had at least one manager get mad at me for it, and I walked out. Maybe that makes me a jerk, but my walker doesn’t leave my site. Mostly, though, I only have to walk a short distance and can handle that without the unnecessary fight. I use my walker at work, but not in the classroom itself. There’s just no way to use one in a classroom of thirty kids. I balance myself on the furniture. It’s not ideal, but there’s no way around it. Since my condition is degenerative, there’s going to come a time when this isn’t an option. It’s not today, though.
Now that I sidetracked myself, let’s get back to the fat lady with a wheelchair.
To get slightly religious here, it makes me think back to when Jesus taught us not to judge each other. Most people interpret this to mean that we all sin and that we shouldn’t judge other people for their sins when we commit more than a few of our own. That’s all true. However, Jesus only got to teach here on Earth for a very short time, so I think that there’s a decent chance that He packed more than one layer in all of His teachings. This is one of them.
I am fat. I know this. I don’t really want any platitudes about “But…but….you shouldn’t say that!!!” I am overweight, I know this, my doctors tell me this. I’m also telling you that I am not really ashamed of that fact. I get mad at it, but it’s partially my fault. I ate the things, even if RD made it very hard for me to control my weight. Unless you have walked in my shoes, you don’t get to judge me for it, either. Jesus said.
Fat or not, though…this is NOT why I’m disabled. When I got RD, I was in the military. I was slightly overweight, by less than 20 pounds. Some people disputed this, because I wasn’t the ideally slim girl with the perfect body. I was by no stretch of the imagination morbidly obese. I did not get RD because of weight. There are many reasons why you can get it, ranging from stressful lifestyles to genetics. It’s usually a combination of those things. RD is the reason I became fat, not the other way around. I always struggled with a love of good food, and I would swear that I gain weight just by looking at the McDonald’s sign. I was on high dosages of steroids, which increases the appetite. I didn’t fight it as well as I should have, and here we are.
As I write this, though, it occurs to me that I’m being part of the problem. So I’m going to keep that last paragraph and expand more, as it can serve to show the diversity in disability. We are not all the same, we did not all get dragged down the same path leading to disability. However, I’m essentially telling you that “I’m not one of them. I’m not the person that is disabled only because I’m fat.” I’m wrong for thinking like that, and it can be construed as being as judgmental as I’m trying to speak against. So let me try this again.
There are various reasons why you can end up overweight and with a wheelchair. Maybe you struggled with overeating and weight made you disabled. Maybe you ended up with a degenerative condition and became disabled. It really doesn’t matter. The fact is, we don’t get the right to judge ANYONE for ANYTHING. (Jesus said.) It would be a better world if we simply had love and compassion for all of our fellow humans, no matter what they do or look like. Before you get mad at that person taking handicapped parking “for being fat” or that electric cart in Wal-Mart “for being fat”, maybe you should take a good long look at your life and remember that no matter how “perfect” your life is, you have shortcomings to work on. Like not being judgmental.
“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Jesus said that, too. Layers.
Unapologetically Disabled 