I love my students. They are so open with their questions. Sometimes this leads to awkward moments. It has lead to me wondering how they thought a given question was even appropriate. Most of the time, they are not afraid to ask the thought provoking questions that adults are afraid to ask. Recently, one of my students asked me about my walker, because I rarely use it in the actual classroom. It’s too crowded, so I rely on balancing myself on the furniture around me. He asked me why I use a walker, since I can clearly walk. He pointed out that I walk as well as he does.
I was not the least bit offended by his question. He framed it in a very polite manner, and he was genuinely curious as to my abilities and how they related to that huge walker that stays parked near my desk. I briefly explained what RD is, and that joint damage didn’t mean that I couldn’t walk, but that I was prone to falling when my joints give out. I explained that walking around a crowded classroom with furniture to grab onto was one thing, but that walking all the way to the main building would be dangerous unaided. He understood and went about his classwork.
I’m so glad he asked. I’ve noticed that when it comes to disability, people are afraid to ask questions, and children are hushed up when they do. When the question is framed politely and is clearly in the spirit of becoming more educated, then every disabled person I know of personally is perfectly happy to answer the questions. I was at Washington on the Brazos today. A lady asked me about my specially designed walker, which stands me straight up, the pressure is on my forearms, and is steered with light pressure from the palms of my hands. I told her that it was fantastic for people with multiple-joint damage like me, and offered her information on where she could find one for her sister. Amazon, in case you’re interested.
On the other hand, I used to work at Michael’s and saw the other side. I only used a cane back then, because of my internalized ableism. I was only in my early thirties, so people regularly felt the need to come up and demand my entire medical history, claiming that there was no way a young woman needed a cane. I must be faking it. DO NOT DO THIS. This is rude. I have no obligation to justify myself and my mobility needs to anyone at anytime. I eventually created a list of things that would “justify a cane”. They included practicing cabaret dancing when I’m bored, thwacking shoplifters over the head, or sob stories of injuries from flying tanks in the Korean War. (Someone bought that last one. ) Ask a rude question, get a rude answer.
We need to educate the general public about disabilities, because people with disabilities have been pushed into the shadows for far too long. The only way we can correct misconceptions is to answer questions. The able-bodied community does not know what it is like to deal with the issues that we deal with daily, and education is the only answer to that. Without dealing with the questions, we cannot hope be fully included in society, because people are afraid of what they do not understand.
To answer my student’s question more fully in the spirit of education, disability is on a sliding scale of sorts. The presence of a walker or a wheelchair does not indicate a total loss of mobility. I have varying levels of mobility on any given day. I walk around my house and family’s homes without any type of mobility device, because there’s plenty of furniture to hold onto if I fall. If I’m shopping or going to be doing quite a bit of walking, I use my walker. There are days that I can’t walk more than a few feet without pain. Those are the days that you may see me use my wheelchair. No matter which aide I use that day, I do have some mobility. I’m not faking it when I get out of my chair to get to a high object, or to get into a restroom stall. It’s not a miracle. This sliding scale applies to a vast majority of limited mobility population. If you need to know our abilities for some reason, ask us. Don’t make assumptions. Please don’t demand our medical history rudely, however. We are under no obligation to explain ourselves to you. There is a vast difference between education and being a jerk.
My niece and nephew have grown up knowing about my disabilities and how they affect me. They have no issues with my mobility devices. When I first got my walker, my niece realized that there was a seat on it and promptly asked for rides around the ballpark. People would stare at us, try not to laugh, giggle awkwardly and try to hide it. I I thought about how this was a prime example of how disability has been in the shadows for so long, that people are afraid to laugh at an adorable nine-year old taking a ride with her favorite aunt. (That’s me!) That’s a shame. Society is only going to be fully inclusive of the disabled community when they stop being afraid of us.
Then we can laugh at the cute kid.
Unapologetically Disabled 